Do you actually read the title?
Words to live by:
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: just cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
9. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
And finally, be really nice to your family and friends, you neverKnow when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
I found these from: http://thorntonmelon.blogspot.com/ and i thought you people might like them. oh, and since school's started again, I probably won't be making as many posts as often.
Kimo
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: just cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
9. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
And finally, be really nice to your family and friends, you neverKnow when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
I found these from: http://thorntonmelon.blogspot.com/ and i thought you people might like them. oh, and since school's started again, I probably won't be making as many posts as often.
Kimo
posted by Kimo @ 10:58 am
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